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Baxter Stockman

by J Rob

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1.
Diamonds 02:36
As I tried to figure out how to start this shit I was thinking about how I put my heart in this But they keep telling me that I don't look the part for this But apart from this, straight fire in every bar he spits I'm just your friendly neighborhood arsonist Getting a buzz with no bar visits I know it pains you So grab, your, darvocets My punches hard as shit Yours are hardy har har har This is A New Age and I'm feeling like Yanni I don't care what depths I gotta go for the cash Cause I'm feeling like Johnny My rays on feeling so chiffony The Brain I'm working with Got me feeling so Schiavone They'll quote that last line verbatim Fuck what you're saying Well if you want some proof About how my words playing? Then watch as my line hit you in the head... Duck Duck Goose Mother fuck who? Better not say jay Fuck you up, put it on tape, Ray J Try to be fly, they failing, may day On the mic, these kids badder than bebe's Got MCs nervous like asking for a pay raise Watch me kick this in a johnny cage way Make the crowd say "Hey that dude is REDICK", J J They tell true lies like Harry Renquist Versatile? I think yes I got more flows Than a sorority house whose periods aint synced yet What? Yo ipod aint synced yet? Let's switch the rhyme scheme If at 8 you say "I need A verse" then you'll have a 16 by 9, widescreen And the red eyes we catching can't be cured with visine Flow sick, I'm So raw man, Even preachers listen to me and say "oh god damn" Whole clique full of Mad men who go jon Hamm Serve em like Rosie, I'm a robot mang I've had swagger since Jim Ross was saying it Got pissed off when your bitch caught playin this I'm a big bauce, like a Rick Ross sayin if You Talking Hip hop? We saving it And if you talking flip flops mines suede and shit And Your girls lip gloss is my favorite You dickwads as soft as baby dick
2.
Ridiculous 02:06
Nickelodeon shows and quotes Fill half my head with knowledge But I couldn't tell you most of what I was to supposed to have read in college Against us, Yo skills better be freshly polished But its futile, my crew will get your set abolished You have no choice, Plans? Abort it. Pro-choice Even with no hose, no voice Still make the crowd say ho and get ho moist When you rap it seems like your russian, Tolstoy Oh Boy My dogs will eat you up Like Ol Roy Watch these bars that I'm kikkoman No Soy Whose the best out? Yo soy home boy Plus I'm Incredible too with no droid Clever lines, leave ya capps fried, ANDY Test me seven times I keep a 4.0 Handy So I'm fine and dandy if you Try again Ill have 8 A's Randy They say I'm good with Big Sean Supa Dupa flow But sans punchlines ain't no way this dude a do a show But that just shows what these koopa troopa know Mass appeal without trying. Want commercial? Watch a stupid super bowl Make em say "WOW" like Warcraft And 9/10ths of whats out now is horsecrap Bullshit? We ignore that #1 so many blue ribbons you'd think we adore pabst. I monkey around so much, at my child"s birth I wouldn't doubt if an orangutan is born I left topanga torn while watching manga porn Every chick I bang is foreign She just gives me head like Zordon, dude While your chicken leaves your balls cordon bleu I eat rappers, I'm a gourmand too. Plus you really don't affect me, like Mike Jordan's flu Ridiculous how I put words together Portmanteau
3.
1st Year 02:25
Graduated from high school; Moved away Now here you are on move in day And Even though you know what you will face This a newer day to prove that you aint too afraid Of success You got a fight for it kumite Sucks? Yes But Ill give my life for it, I wish I knew then what I knew today But you know what just cause I'm growing up Doesn't mean I have to abandon my foolish ways So Who is Jay? Well that's what we gon find out here Over a four year diet of ramen and light warm beer And all night partying until lights on here With brunettes, red heads and girls with that light blond hair Right now yo priorities Sororities Liberate em from they panties, Normandy, Looking for a girl to take home, This party's like an orphanage Sorry but this how "all man act"... Poor richards They first year Trying to find that's just right You gotta test out all them porridges That first F you blame on the liquor and then Later that night And its back to being your best friend The Captain, jack D Academics are like toddlers, For the first few years, they take the backseat Friends, Frats, Fights, Flirting, Atleast one fail That's yo Freshman year in a nutshell
4.
Awesome 02:46
We with dimes, you hang with a six like Blossom And she say yall just friends, Rachel, Rossing Oh You Baucing? But You Dress for Less, You Rossing This mac is a whiz, you'd think I'm signed with Rostrum U maad? What's eating your grapes, gilbert? Is it that you hang with Small dogs like Dilbert So sick, If you read my rhyme book You'll turn the page wash your hands, turn the page wash your hands, Filburt Protecting my goals, I'm goldberg they gillbergs My skills ill, I kill verses Like Momar Godaffi You're below par and sloppy So far, its been shown its so hard to copy Don't worry, You won't go far or top me You're not nice, bump someone, No pardon, Sorry The kids Wild, Crazy, like Omar and Donnie Drive em batty, cause I'm so fly. They Sonar on Robbie [Bridge] What got two thumbs and knows how to spit rhymes Two thumbs up, you gonna point em at this guy Baxter Stockman couldn't be this fly So ask I how I feel and I'll you know I'll reply [Chorus] I feel so AWESOME How you feel? AWESOME I guess that's AWESOME Shorty you fine and yo body is AWESOME Wanna roll? AWESOME Well let's go. AWESOME Hands in the sky like [Verse 2] Michael Alfonso, on the mic I'm awesome Once they see the appeal you mass like Boston They Begin talking Bout you on computers from the safety of their chairs Bunch of Stephen Hawkings But understand, I can rap without similes If we talking cool, then my swag's the epitome So just know if I were glass than I'm tiffany And I had an epiphany On how to gain the limelight and bask in it infinitely But I Drank a cask full hennessy And had a lapse in my memory My fault So what it does does cuzz? You want me to get back to that fly talk, buzz buzz Ruh Roh I smell Trouble I'm so smooth, while they are all stubble I leave my peers in awe Need a hot verse? I got you like Hubble like Bashir Sala
5.
[Hook] Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Uppercut Send something flying to shut these lying suckers up If I got problems with you buttercups I don't know that pixar movie Look at y'all like "What the FUCK is UP?" [Verse 1: J Rob] When you broke, Ain't nothing funny here Around us it smells like money there My crews tough, if you jump Leave you with two bumps on your head like Chun-Li hair They blacked out from the punches, Balrog I got that shit that hits you upside the head El Kabong, Quick Draw McGraw dog Expose me, homie? I ain't see your name in my bluff's call log I rap hot, My 16's sawed off Yo girl like Guile with her bra off, Flat top I'm spitting for the have-not and want-tos Those who grew up on the Microphone check, 1 - 2s The music jamaican is for the D J's on the one two-s I am so nice, I could be Ryuuuuu and Throwin haduuuuuu....kens And afterwards ask How do ya doooooo, Ken? [Hook] [Verse 2: J Rob] Jay's sick, I rap with a bad flu Leave Heads spinning Hurricane kick Tatsumaki-Senpū kyaku E Honda, I'm tapping punch fast too When I'm slapping these whack dudes Trying to test me, but I ain't BETA AO, I'm the Genesis and the OMEGA Got fans screaming at us… SEGA Jealous so those bitches bring they claws out, VEGA Motherfucker I'm Awesome They look at my wardrobe like how much that cost him? If your girl make us go "Whoah" like Blossom Crane'll bag her, stretch her out like Dahlsim Got em green with envy, so they biting like Blanca I'm not shocked though, Polident is they sponsor Enemies try be friends once you Sell out a concert They get real chumly, Pawn stars [Hook] [Verse 3: J Rob] Listen, your girl blew me…. avatar My magic bars leave faggots with Saggat's scar Zangief, pain grief, you don't want to grapple with this wrastl-ar The glitz and glamour looks so enticin Where the girls are all knockouts, M Tyson People always yelling your name, Fif Tyson Making you feel like a BAUCE, M Bison I try to ground beef And not buy what they selling, like I only eat buffalo burgers MMMMMMM BISON
6.
Grammar 02:02
I wake up early in the morning Round the crack of dawning Read my newspaper see wassup (see wassup) I vocab it up, dat bang in my trunk English teachers in my city show me love Because I speak in proper grammar, grammar grammar grammar Speak in proper grammar, Speak in proper grammar? Speak in proper grammar, grammar grammar grammar Speak in proper grammar, speak in proper grammar? Take note my internet explorers, IE Rappers say they destroy the same beats I eat In other words, i.e. They think they can "see" "I", But If they spell it out, what would come after I? E They wish it was EI, like that single Nelly cut Taking them to school, Ms. Frizzle, Yellow Bus Pardon me, but yall horrible, the harshness of this clever jangle Make artists crippled My bars'll sizzle, get your sandals Jay R'll spit the hardest shit you'll ever handle My participles never dangle And I know the difference in who, whom, lay, lie, bringx, take and further/farther from every angle I'm usually not the type to brag or flaunt my pipes But I had to come out of my shell... obama's wife To tell these buffoons, that rob is nice It's evident on every track that I run on, comma splice
7.
That's the last straw, I'm killin scarecrows Cause they don't have the brains to feel this rare flow The top I won't stop until I'm there though This that Regis Philbin Who wants to be a Millionaire Flow Hit em with a batman if he play immature But my talents understated like Hemingways signature They aint ernest they a fake Hemingway signature Humidor filled with Arturo Fuente Hemingway signatures So hot I can make an iced out tennis band melt or The coolest cat or gentleman swelter If talent built houses, well then you'd be in a damn shelter Yo skills gon take your camp nowhere, Dennis Van Welker I'm TR Polk Here to take yo fucking gremlin No bright lights, No eating after midnight, no getting wet, You treat you girl like she that fuzzy gremlin Get the references? My mind's way more complex, than a russian Kremlin If not, there's always Rap Genius This Rap Genius will be round longer Than a black penis Wow, oh my, oh dear, thats a stereotype Bitch, we pioneers, you every other stereo type I carry my team with me like McGruber and his blaupunkt You got $98 in yo account, punk Claiming he a thousand-aire That is now how you round up, Talking shit but we in this bitch, homie now what? You wanted beef with us You really are so dumb, So, Finish your drink I'm gona grill you til your done Being broke aint really any fun But we gon blow How you know? Man I can feel it in my plums That is the plan ho, Well be stacking bills Don't mess with the man though, cause you don't have these skills For our music, our fans so excited, Jessica Spano on Caffeine pills Now tell me that you love it You know you at the top when only heabe right above it We on, its Stick Up Kids Motherfucker If you aint running with it, run from it motherfucker You know I'm sick my nose is runny in this bitch Green sweater vest looking like Doug Funnie in this bitch, you dig Rapping like this is not hard Especially because we've got bars
8.
My Time 04:05
[Verse 1] My kind of loving drive em to insanity They lying if they say they slightly a fan of me It aint a child its a man you need Cause a man like me will help act out your wild Fantasies And boo I'm your drama coach She first class but her handbags stay in Coach And her friends so petty, its like they stay in coats And Jay got jokes, Approach her patient That dress is very becoming, boo But of course if I was on you I'd be coming too And that flirtatious, first statement Got her making and sending signals That says she's mine for taking From the start Leave her aching And I aint talking bout the heart Good grrrracious I got this woman Yelling my name like she a lifeguard and I'm a kid running. You want me to slow down? Oh wow... If she didn't see it prior She know now I affect her in all sorts of ways She just want more of Jay Call me Morris Day... got her on My Time [Verse 2] She's got a face like a model, frame like a bottle Tastes like Moscato She tries to stay aways but then caves like a grotto Cause I'm irresistible She swears that what we got is just sexual Then claims she cant fit me in her schedule But she ends up being like her muscles... Flexible No need for a diamond to cutter, DDP She tells them other dudes step aside That are bugging her, Pesticide, DDT Dynamite, TNT No drama Like my place is Southland She more than fine? Um yes But she borderline obsessed, laces out Dan She stuck to me, its like Jays without Pam And just wants my junk, no days without spam Yeah, bring back those power chords Losing track a time, unplugging all the power cords Started on the back porch, then ended up on the shower floor We stop for a snack then back at it for an hour more Now the Round is 3, I ask for Mercy, Then she hits me with an Animality The sex great, Checkmate Even though Jay aint fail I'm still taking L's... Cause I got her Knights
9.
First you fall in love with her Swag and all that Then you pay for mani pedis, her Bags and all that It's like eating Lays with Danny Tamberelli She thinks she's a chip filled bag and all that Yeah... her shit don't stink But she's the first one to jump if ship should sink She's one lucky girl is what that bitch should think But she's too busy finding a different dick to drink I JK... Rowling Cause I'm on a late night quest for love, fallon When we fight, we should sell tix... Allen She look good like milk in any outfit that gal in Thinkin I had hoes on my di-ick But I didn't I hate it that you were Listening to that fake shit that you heard Your decision Like Lil B... based on the rumors But I'm out my cotton-picking mind If I want to get back with her I gotta get in line So Ill play like I don't think your hot or even fine And hate you... Until I get my shot another time
10.
Fancy 01:29
Love the pumps, boo them slingbacks is fire Scoopneck, pleated skirt, when she in that black attire She so fine, she can make even a mac retire That girl Fancy, she my Reba McEntire But I bet you saw that one coming Out of all your friends, with me, you the only one coming Show up at my house like "I'm the only one?" Come in Hours later you the only one coming Sorry for being sorta crass But I figure you needed assistance with all that... Class Babygirl like an admissions office Got other women livid, pigeons pissed and bitchin often Now Them hoes hating? They are so basic Its more than make-up and having all your toes painted Cause its nothing for her to make the baddest bitch here look "cornier" with No lasik
11.
Sunlight 02:44
[Verse 1] Schools out!!! Spring Break Jumping on the beds til the springs break I'm a fill my weekdays, with drinks, haze, beach, waves, T's, A's, heat wave Staying at home is for losers Pack the car and Load up the coolers Once we on the road we the rulers But first we need a playlist, Hit up mostly junk food Two weeks of sun and mostly junk food And Girls, partying, sex Oh yeah, we getting Drunk too Find some pretty biddies to come through Preferably, skinny big tittied, and dumb too Told my pa-rents I couldn't pay rent so they sent me some funds oooo Forget them Summer girls... LFO Looking a bi-chick, Like F Hello, She said she likes the way I F L OW Girl I just want to Rida FLo Ain't None of these girls hot as you And I can think of some things that you oughta do Once we leave town my feelings wont follow you [Verse 2] What's better than Sunlight bathin On the beach with Some libations Our relationship like a road trip through Ohio One night Dayton Yeah, some like hating But its impossible to do when the surf and the sand fine Take your top off, I'm not a perv its just I'm allergic to tan lines Ay girl your man like I aint heard of him that's a damn lie I got that bauce sauce like Laura's dork Spent all my money on beer, I can't afford spork We getting buck in here like Florida sports And she want me in her guts Like Moira Quirk
12.
13.
E.T. 02:30
[Verse 1] Let's cut to the chase, are you down to or not? Girl stop playing, we both know you are hot Let's get outta here, after Two more shots Get her open, she'll glowing Mister Burns booster shot You say I'm something you never seen before Where we going, what we doing, You don't need them drawers So take off that LV, C Dior This experience is out of body... But I wanna be in yours Baxter Stockman a Fly guy from Dimension x She was ready to go, and I aint have to mention sex Apprehensive? Yes But I have a pension to make that tension less You can call me Alf, the answer to Do you eat the cat is yes [Verse 2] I'm not just some, Body snatcher But I'm a need to beat em to it, And take her before somebody snatch her If you don't like it rough when we're up in sheets, Then we can sex slow, and show you how I come in peace I'm a star, Extra celestial No need to phone home, you with an extra terrestrial Hot, smart and got money? You the trifecta like an extra t-testicle And I aint gone marry ya when I'm done So let's just keep this a secret like Area 51
14.
Whatever the endeavour We could have been together But I hope you see now that it'll never Happen, you still stuck in the past and Yet you tell your friends, "Girl I'm so past him" We both know that ain't true You would always nag and hassle me too Saying I didn't have that same passion for you Passive agressive, asking a q like, feasibly, How are you feeding me? Paying this CC fees, With your free cd's You just needed to believe in me You could've even lied and say you did The one that got away... Jay Is it My music, you hated it, now it's time for you to be facing it I hope this taught you whata virtue patience is Cause you got nobody but you blame for it Have I been clear? I hope you hear this You could've been here, we could've shared this And trust that where ever youre not While on my grind To be honest, that thought never crossed my mind And I bet you think that all the time Now that I'm gone I'm the only thing on your mind
15.
Been to 3rd base, we going all the way this time, time You aint a seasoned vet just cause you got all this thyme, thyme Boring jay like Morris day, taking up all his time, time Man of the year, I should be all up in Time, Time It's either Maker's 46 or Yuengling These dudes are all characters, wing dings They call me Corny, and a lot of other mean things Sorry, but that's not my name word to the Ting Tings He lame and he don't see That blaming me won't be The one excuse that makes up for his Lazy approach, b Looking down on yall, Jay in the nosebleeds Cause I need a crib on them Malibu Sands...Staci Carosi They, listen to the things that we write With Chrome opened up to that Wikipedia site We shining, left em in the dark, these weaklings arent bright So sick, know what's up, Been throwing up. I need all the Pedialyte, Xenon, Halogen, compact fluroescent Highlights, Twilights From a New Moon to a waxing crescent To a waning one, Jay aint done Rob rap's incessant- Ly Since an adolescent, They've seen that I'm Incandescent [Verse 2] Blowing up, go up in flames with glory We some Apollo G's but we aint saying sorry Do me a favor, download this, and play it for me Rob's voice get yo mom moist make your auntie's panties horny Bring in that morse code Like what you working with they will steal yo source code Watching you perform I was bored yo All you do is wine, bordeaux And All I do just push their buttons... Eddie Gordo
16.
[J Rob's Verses] And when I'm six feet under in that sediment Just know everything I said I meant Its evident easy to be pessimist But out of every situation you gotta make the best of it And Full, make sure your glass half Even when you know its worse If you don't get the joke at first, That just means you'll have the last laugh Women know you worth There's way more to ya than having a fat ass If Them dogs come barking, put em in a kennel boo I see too many grown men in the kiddie pool And to all the kids getting ridiculed Seeking comfort in those first person shooter reticules Know that those things that get you bullied in middle school Are the very same things that in college make you really cool True friends are a rarity For every one that would take they last dollar to share with me There's a million more that Would get close just to embarass me Be all smiles and then When I turn my back disparage me Bare with me, clarity, Rhyming is my therapy, And I'm not as great as I'd care to be And its fine if I never get rich from recording songs As long as you know my name before I am gone [Verse 2] Every breakthrough became true When the world said you can't do that Then someone did I used to hate on trust fund kids But that must have been Because I wasnt one of them So I grind to make sure that mine is Account in the minus Swipe the card, then hope they dont decline this Losing "my cool" like I am Vick And I am sick and tired of These liars, who claim they got the fire Knowing damn well that I am BIC So park that shit up on memory lane J Rob and Eye am Bic Remember the names
17.
Smallville 01:52
Ever since I got a mic like Saved by the bell the college years They haven't believed in what I'm trying to accomplish here Blood, sweat, and a lot of beers And when that hard work pay offs they know I'm out of here To Escape the stigmas from my background Oh our class clown, rap now? That preppy kid that wore them polo threads, We all thought was homo sex Be getting spins Like a Rolodex Hold on... Yesp J to the R, They love what I say in these bars Just a lad in the game but, I'm playing Jafar Getting better every day, I can't wait for tomorrow So please Don't get in this errant dude's way Or else, I'll Ram ya, like I stare at Goulet I ball like an heiress whose name is paris, you lames Sing the same old tunes, Where is Buble I don't need a parachute, They want to poach me I'm flyer than Cody on the back of marahute
18.
Young Simba I can't wait to be king But one slip up You lose everything And You won't get far By complaining its hard, To be the king. you gotta go through the Scars You can do what you wanna For that Hakuna Matata I'm do whats needed For a better view for tomorra I want it now Choosin my fate, Refusin to wait Sit back and pow wow about What music to make If they want that I don't want to think just wanna dance Do we blindly give em that shit that will put em in a trance The lyrics they don't hear it They just wanna feel the beat Kill em in they sleep Make a bullshit song they feelin in they feet And them simply repeat No use reinventin the wheel Getting lost in the music is fine But would it kill em to deal Face they problems? Talk it out instead walkin out or walkin it out So apathetic Rather wish on a star then work hard That's a tad pathetic To fix Society's ills You don't have to ask a medic If since high school We haven't crossed paths forget it I don't like you, No you can't get it for free you can buy our shit on iTunes They want my gift, I'm feelin like poppa santa If I'm making your anxiety, violently, rise then please pop a xanax The Bass line, the synth, its all propaganda Bauce Sauce bitch I got more juice than tropicana If you not a fan of, JR, They are They just don't know it yet Your flow gets no respect This is my court and I'm holdin it So up yours its Chuck norris with a nunchuk soaring At yo fucking clitoris So you better duck or its Force, hit, Rig-uh-mortis Of course its Jay, Mr. Big you're just Boris Killin em like 911, I'm on my porsche shit Bet I Run laps around these losers, I'm on my horse shit So fly, I'm on my horse shit Yell it until my voice quits, on my hoarse shit These beats are the root of me, I'm on my borscht shit Put it down with flair with ease When I fry kids, make em grimace, Call me mayor cheese So get off facebook, put your face in a book There's really no difference in each race if you look And maybe what I place in the hook Will inspire change in the crooks Or maybe bring faith to the shook Well I highly doubt it And this rap shit is highly crowded But I feel like my talent should be I'm highly touted And you can be the best, but only if I allow it Cause I can be the greatest ever, but only if I allow it
19.
Rap is Wrestling Can you dig it? Because YOu won't make it without a gimmick The fans are fucking with you But The man can't do nothing with you Unless you have a gimmick Talent means nothing, So you better have a gimmick You Better have a gimmick, You Better have a gimmick Because YOu won't make it without a gimmick The right character can make all the difference You let that fo fo heat flair And move them birds like KoKo B. Ware? Trying to be Papa Shango using mirrors and SMoooooooooke Do we believe ya? Noooooooo You Whacksauce, past fake Cause in reality you a Hacksaw catchprase HOOOoooOOOooooOe USA, I'm talking to u, ese So what you wanna do do ese? I'm ready for la guerra yo, leave em soggy When bullets Splash any Eddie Guerrerros feeling froggy, Instead of displaying a sicker flow They talk about how they'll put the flame to ya head Bigelow Ain't buying what you sell-in, with that sickle flow How many of your 15 minutes of fame left? I figure four With those freestyle skills, you ought to stop Heel Ric Flair, You never hitting off the top Thinking Rob is not Fresh? There must be hash in your hookah There are fewer guys this superfly, snooka Get it straight, I innovate, I'm Mike Quackenbush with raps and hooks Faggot look, I don't care what you rookie's cooking I spaz like Taz, and not the one from red hook in brooklyn I'm the opposite of pussy footing I got your girl sitting on my face like Doink's Whoopie Cushion And just cause Rob's Official She blows me more than Bill Alfonzo's whistle She told me that you have a musty chode So it ain't take much Turn Yo Baby Doll Out, Dusty Rhodes When we're done she wants some mo a me Peter Maivia I'm the shit, see the diarrhea? But I digress, The fans call for change Cause These Rappers are Mick Foley, Mankind, Dude Love, all the same They hear me and say whose that j guy Whoever said I'm a New Jack, they lied My crew will stomp you out, 30 feet homie, like a New Jack Stage Dive ON the Mic, I'm Dwayne Johnson, See I train constantly, Take caution, Get off my bronson, b They commonly, say jay's comedy Until they get a Running Lygerbomb from the Top of the Scaffolding To make it man, You gotta either put in work for years, gain crazy fans Or be born Diggy Simmons, shane McMahon J Rob is shameless and White like that Sheamus man So I'm fessing up I'm middle class, went to college Been arrested once, 1360 SAT, tested once They tell their friends "You need to CM," I'm GTS-ing punks And I'd rather read a book With my skills, I'm like a toddler on a swingset I just a need a push So from the looks of it, If I ever want to feel that glory I better change my backstory Rap is Wrestling Can you dig it? Because YOu won't make it without a gimmick The fans are fucking with you But The man can't do nothing with you Unless you have a gimmick Talent means nothing, So you better have a gimmick You Better have a gimmick, You Better have a gimmick Because YOu won't make it without a gimmick The right character can make all the difference
20.
Ham and Swag 03:26
I'm that mother fucker call the hamba lamps Cause when I go ham beats doesn't stand a chance That's fact no back and forth like the hammer dance I know pill heads that bag E more than hammer pants Been doing this since geocities and the hamster dance Take these whack weed rappers to Hamsterdam I nail they girl, they want to hammer Robby Until they see I lay the law down, Hammerabi Chilling in CT, catch me in hamden With godAWFUL, looking so awfully hamsome Stick Up Kids, we're back Call me Andy Hamberg, and your More Like the Hamburglar Steal my 16's, Then I'll issue a Hamber Alert These Hamateurs wonder what this brohams thinking Cause I lose my mind in the booth Abraham Lincoln I just went ham, No Bacos Take note My punches aint for an Ig No ramos Trying to holler at Bob Swaggit, No Stamos Hot bars, Conswagration, So fuego You'll stay underground with that fraggle swag While I'm chillin at the top of the swaggro crag I'm full of myself, your chick is full of R In AlHambama, Dancing, swagging on boulevard Pull my card like Tarot, I'm a Swaggitarius Nick Swardson, Your a fag like Terry is Oh the swagony, College, I graduated Don't feel bad for me, there the ones swaggravated Trying to understand these simpletons, Swageline Albright Cause what they doing, aint at all right I shit aviators, wayfarers glasses of all types My dick in chick, that's what's happening all night For the broads of these heroes, bad news I stay with a tricky dick call me, Spiro Swagnew I got that Bauce Sauce, you got ragu So sick Swag-choo My swag is so crispy While You have to beg for attention, tittytuesday, Your swag is so plixi Say Whose better? I'll turn them faggots to mincemeat Oh look, and then there were none, Swagitha Christie Its the Legend of Swagger Vance Punches hit like an avalanche Gallavant with Jimmy Fallons aunt Jrob, just rap over beats. That's an acrostic pray to the Basedgod cause I'm swagnostic He fill up a magnum? He lied Cause its really a dodge magnum he drive This blonde fella, tom selleck, Swagnum PI Secretary of Swagriculture, Have me over Swagamennon Put my swag up in your mom
21.
22.
This for those that dream of packed out stadiums and crowds Performing to leave em all amazed and just wowd For those whoever got complaints that there playing was too loud This is for everyone who keeps their Craniums in clouds Who believe their potential has yet to be seen And that who they are now is not who they're destined to be They act like I'm supposed to make it so effortlessly The're suggestions to me Are so evidently Rooted deep in the fact that they gave up theirs But Jay don't care So I look up to the stars Until my name up there Tell em you did what they tried but their too ashamed to care The try to pull you back to earth Hate on you, attack your worth Prey on you catholic church I give my all for it So if you think I'll fall short? Now YOU're dreaming
23.
[Verse 1] People wonder why the world don't know my fucking name, see It Aint because I'm fucking lazy It's cause I got a house, a wife, shitty job Enough problems to drive a sane man fucking crazy So What's impressing me? Nothing lately I'm Lupe, busta Jay-Z Mixed with XV, Usher, Shady, Chuck D, AZ Your Gutta Gutta, Lil Chuckie, Baby What comes with an iPod I'm a pair of fucking Dr. Beats Let your fans hear you then fucking play me Ask Whose Better and I bet they fucking say me, I'm from the burbs, Notorious for BIG houses But that don't mean my life is all fucking Gravy Try to copy us, 10-4 I'll leave all you men numb, ten foil Round the country where me and my men go So tell my mom how well I'm doing Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo I kick it like Kenpo Keep up with my tempo Bout to get it popping Like prom night and pimples Lunch break sex, nicknamed her box, bento Other bitches try to emulator, nintendo Baby girl must a went to Morehead She showed me her brains Like Lord Zedd While you were at work, right there on your dorm bed She blew me like hot soup, had me looking for the cornbread I'm sorry, it feels bad to diss you She Talked bout how bad she miss you Then got drunk, and had me help her with her daddy issues Left her with a smile and some cum splattered tissues That is G-Ross And fuck if I aint putting out the most witty prose If I were most rappers I'd use a played line about bullshit and connect it wth D Rose Damn... hashtag meta And since I rap that betta When I hit the stage after you, they just clap and woo, then the crowd yells At Last Etta My references obscure so they say I'm kinda hipster-ish, Well hipsters make you popular, So Ill be on that hipster-ish If your featured artist drop the ball like a fumblr I can get you a verse in a gif like tumblr [Verse 2] I reference Nickelodeon so they say I'm a fucking dork But they don't know I'm versatile, like a fucking spork End of discussion What retort? Give em the blues, so they copy me what a bunch of Snorks These funny clowns starting up They want me Dumb it down, how bout you smarten up? I Found a niche that I'm carvin up If you haven't found yours, you aint working hard enough Fuck that Using qualifiers shit If rap we're the World Cup You wouldn't qualify for shit Verbally, on wax, I'm like herbal t and wax when I'm murdering these tracks Son em with my simple rhymes, I nursery these cats They preferrin me and thats, because my absurdity is perfectly in tact Fuck their cursory-filled hurriedly spit raps So fluid, the way I put letters together, its cursive when I rap Im Fly, check the mixtape theme I've been doing this since a teen Show up, they say no he didn't, but oh boy he did My seer sucker collection look like Roy G Biv Its easy to make yo chicken strip like Sanders Cause females love us And I aint just talking bout the dumb skinny, wild chicks, that like to be pampered Hell, Even nerdy girls that are smart, bilt and calm adore us, like Vander Too nice, Flanders I'm the truth, you can never say my speech slander, I'm a beast, cancer, Am I the best motherfucker doing this? I'll let the beat answer

about

J Rob's first solo mixtape. As a long standing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan, J Rob equates himself to the character of Baxter Stockman... partly because he's a mad genius but mostly because he's a fly guy. Enjoy.

credits

released April 11, 2011

Anyone who has ever listened to one of my songs and said "You're actually pretty good." Also, shouts to Other Wise for mixing it so beautifully and Graphik Chaos for THE DOPEST ALBUM ART OF ALL TIME.

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Stick Up Kids Greenville, South Carolina

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