Baxter Stockman

by J Rob

  • Streaming + Download




J Rob's first solo mixtape. As a long standing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan, J Rob equates himself to the character of Baxter Stockman... partly because he's a mad genius but mostly because he's a fly guy. Enjoy.


released April 11, 2011

Anyone who has ever listened to one of my songs and said "You're actually pretty good." Also, shouts to Other Wise for mixing it so beautifully and Graphik Chaos for THE DOPEST ALBUM ART OF ALL TIME.



Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.


Stick Up Kids Greenville, South Carolina

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Track Name: Diamonds
As I tried to figure out how to start this shit
I was thinking about how I put my heart in this
But they keep telling me that I don't look the part for this
But apart from this, straight fire in every bar he spits
I'm just your friendly neighborhood arsonist
Getting a buzz with no bar visits
I know it pains you
So grab, your, darvocets
My punches hard as shit
Yours are hardy har har har
This is
A New Age and I'm feeling like Yanni
I don't care what depths I gotta go for the cash
Cause I'm feeling like Johnny
My rays on feeling so chiffony
The Brain I'm working with
Got me feeling so Schiavone
They'll quote that last line verbatim
Fuck what you're saying
Well if you want some proof
About how my words playing?
Then watch as my line hit you in the head... Duck Duck Goose
Mother fuck who?
Better not say jay
Fuck you up, put it on tape, Ray J
Try to be fly, they failing, may day
On the mic, these kids badder than bebe's
Got MCs nervous like asking for a pay raise
Watch me kick this in a johnny cage way
Make the crowd say "Hey that dude is REDICK", J J
They tell true lies like Harry Renquist
Versatile? I think yes
I got more flows
Than a sorority house whose periods aint synced yet
What? Yo ipod aint synced yet?
Let's switch the rhyme scheme
If at 8 you say "I need
A verse" then you'll have a 16 by 9, widescreen
And the red eyes we catching can't be cured with visine
Flow sick, I'm So raw man,
Even preachers listen to me and say "oh god damn"
Whole clique full of Mad men who go jon Hamm
Serve em like Rosie, I'm a robot mang
I've had swagger since Jim Ross was saying it
Got pissed off when your bitch caught playin this
I'm a big bauce, like a Rick Ross sayin if
You Talking Hip hop? We saving it
And if you talking flip flops mines suede and shit
And Your girls lip gloss is my favorite
You dickwads as soft as baby dick
Track Name: Ridiculous
Nickelodeon shows and quotes
Fill half my head with knowledge
But I couldn't tell you most of what I was to supposed to have read in college
Against us, Yo skills better be freshly polished
But its futile, my crew will get your set abolished
You have no choice,
Plans? Abort it.
Even with no hose, no voice
Still make the crowd say ho and get ho moist
When you rap it seems like your russian, Tolstoy
Oh Boy
My dogs will eat you up Like Ol Roy
Watch these bars that I'm kikkoman No Soy
Whose the best out? Yo soy home boy
Plus I'm Incredible too with no droid
Clever lines, leave ya capps fried, ANDY
Test me seven times
I keep a 4.0 Handy
So I'm fine and dandy if you Try again Ill have 8 A's Randy

They say I'm good with Big Sean Supa Dupa flow
But sans punchlines ain't no way this dude a do a show
But that just shows what these koopa troopa know
Mass appeal without trying. Want commercial? Watch a stupid super bowl
Make em say "WOW" like Warcraft
And 9/10ths of whats out now is horsecrap
Bullshit? We ignore that
#1 so many blue ribbons you'd think we adore pabst.
I monkey around so much, at my child"s birth I wouldn't doubt if an orangutan is born
I left topanga torn while watching manga porn
Every chick I bang is foreign
She just gives me head like Zordon, dude
While your chicken leaves your balls cordon bleu
I eat rappers, I'm a gourmand too.
Plus you really don't affect me, like Mike Jordan's flu
Ridiculous how I put words together Portmanteau
Track Name: 1st Year
Graduated from high school;
Moved away
Now here you are on move in day
And Even though you know what you will face
This a newer day to prove that you aint too afraid
Of success
You got a fight for it kumite
Sucks? Yes
But Ill give my life for it,
I wish I knew then what I knew today
But you know what just cause I'm growing up
Doesn't mean I have to abandon my foolish ways
So Who is Jay?
Well that's what we gon find out here
Over a four year diet of ramen and light warm beer
And all night partying until lights on here
With brunettes, red heads and girls with that light blond hair
Right now yo priorities Sororities
Liberate em from they panties, Normandy,
Looking for a girl to take home, This party's like an orphanage
Sorry but this how "all man act"... Poor richards
They first year
Trying to find that's just right
You gotta test out all them porridges
That first F you blame on the liquor and then
Later that night
And its back to being your best friend
The Captain, jack D
Academics are like toddlers,
For the first few years, they take the backseat
Friends, Frats, Fights, Flirting, Atleast one fail
That's yo Freshman year in a nutshell
Track Name: Awesome
We with dimes, you hang with a six like Blossom
And she say yall just friends, Rachel, Rossing
Oh You Baucing? But You Dress for Less, You Rossing
This mac is a whiz, you'd think I'm signed with Rostrum
U maad? What's eating your grapes, gilbert?
Is it that you hang with Small dogs like Dilbert
So sick, If you read my rhyme book
You'll turn the page wash your hands, turn the page wash your hands, Filburt
Protecting my goals, I'm goldberg they gillbergs
My skills ill, I kill verses
Like Momar Godaffi
You're below par and sloppy
So far, its been shown its so hard to copy
Don't worry, You won't go far or top me
You're not nice, bump someone, No pardon, Sorry
The kids Wild, Crazy, like Omar and Donnie
Drive em batty, cause I'm so fly. They Sonar on Robbie

What got two thumbs and knows how to spit rhymes
Two thumbs up, you gonna point em at this guy
Baxter Stockman couldn't be this fly
So ask I how I feel and I'll you know I'll reply

I feel so AWESOME
How you feel? AWESOME
I guess that's AWESOME
Shorty you fine and yo body is AWESOME
Wanna roll? AWESOME
Well let's go. AWESOME
Hands in the sky like

[Verse 2]
Michael Alfonso, on the mic I'm awesome
Once they see the appeal you mass like Boston
They Begin talking
Bout you on computers from the safety of their chairs
Bunch of Stephen Hawkings
But understand, I can rap without similes
If we talking cool, then my swag's the epitome
So just know if I were glass than I'm tiffany
And I had an epiphany
On how to gain the limelight and bask in it infinitely
But I Drank a cask full hennessy
And had a lapse in my memory
My fault
So what it does does cuzz?
You want me to get back to that fly talk, buzz buzz
Ruh Roh
I smell Trouble
I'm so smooth, while they are all stubble
I leave my peers in awe
Need a hot verse? I got you like Hubble like Bashir Sala
Track Name: Tiger Uppercut
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Uppercut
Send something flying to shut these lying suckers up
If I got problems with you buttercups
I don't know that pixar movie
Look at y'all like "What the FUCK is UP?"

[Verse 1: J Rob]
When you broke, Ain't nothing funny here
Around us it smells like money there
My crews tough, if you jump
Leave you with two bumps on your head like Chun-Li hair
They blacked out from the punches, Balrog
I got that shit that hits you upside the head
El Kabong, Quick Draw McGraw dog
Expose me, homie?
I ain't see your name in my bluff's call log
I rap hot, My 16's sawed off
Yo girl like Guile with her bra off, Flat top
I'm spitting for the have-not and want-tos
Those who grew up on the Microphone check, 1 - 2s
The music jamaican is for the D J's on the one two-s
I am so nice, I could be Ryuuuuu and
Throwin haduuuuuu....kens
And afterwards ask How do ya doooooo, Ken?


[Verse 2: J Rob]
Jay's sick, I rap with a bad flu
Leave Heads spinning
Hurricane kick
Tatsumaki-Senpū kyaku
E Honda, I'm tapping punch fast too
When I'm slapping these whack dudes
Trying to test me, but I ain't BETA
AO, I'm the Genesis and the OMEGA
Got fans screaming at us… SEGA
Jealous so those bitches bring they claws out, VEGA
Motherfucker I'm Awesome
They look at my wardrobe like how much that cost him?
If your girl make us go "Whoah" like Blossom
Crane'll bag her, stretch her out like Dahlsim
Got em green with envy, so they biting like Blanca
I'm not shocked though, Polident is they sponsor
Enemies try be friends once you Sell out a concert
They get real chumly, Pawn stars


[Verse 3: J Rob]
Listen, your girl blew me…. avatar
My magic bars leave faggots with Saggat's scar
Zangief, pain grief, you don't want to grapple with this wrastl-ar
The glitz and glamour looks so enticin
Where the girls are all knockouts, M Tyson
People always yelling your name, Fif Tyson
Making you feel like a BAUCE, M Bison
I try to ground beef
And not buy what they selling, like I only eat buffalo burgers
Track Name: Grammar
I wake up early in the morning
Round the crack of dawning
Read my newspaper see wassup (see wassup)
I vocab it up, dat bang in my trunk
English teachers in my city show me love

Because I speak in proper grammar, grammar grammar grammar
Speak in proper grammar,
Speak in proper grammar?
Speak in proper grammar, grammar grammar grammar
Speak in proper grammar, speak in proper grammar?

Take note my internet explorers, IE
Rappers say they destroy the same beats I eat
In other words, i.e.
They think they can "see" "I",
But If they spell it out, what would come after I? E
They wish it was EI, like that single Nelly cut
Taking them to school, Ms. Frizzle, Yellow Bus
Pardon me, but yall horrible, the harshness of this clever jangle
Make artists crippled
My bars'll sizzle, get your sandals
Jay R'll spit the hardest shit you'll ever handle
My participles never dangle
And I know the difference in who, whom, lay, lie, bringx, take and further/farther from every angle
I'm usually not the type to brag or flaunt my pipes
But I had to come out of my shell... obama's wife
To tell these buffoons, that rob is nice
It's evident on every track that I run on, comma splice
Track Name: Right Above It
That's the last straw, I'm killin scarecrows
Cause they don't have the brains to feel this rare flow
The top
I won't stop until I'm there though
This that Regis Philbin Who wants to be a Millionaire Flow
Hit em with a batman if he play immature
But my talents understated like
Hemingways signature
They aint ernest they a fake Hemingway signature
Humidor filled with Arturo Fuente Hemingway signatures
So hot I can make an iced out tennis band melt or
The coolest cat or gentleman swelter
If talent built houses, well then you'd be in a damn shelter
Yo skills gon take your camp nowhere, Dennis Van Welker
I'm TR Polk
Here to take yo fucking gremlin
No bright lights, No eating after midnight, no getting wet,
You treat you girl like she that fuzzy gremlin
Get the references? My mind's way more complex, than a russian Kremlin
If not, there's always Rap Genius
This Rap Genius will be round longer
Than a black penis
Wow, oh my, oh dear, thats a stereotype
Bitch, we pioneers, you every other stereo type
I carry my team with me like McGruber and his blaupunkt
You got $98 in yo account, punk
Claiming he a thousand-aire
That is now how you round up,
Talking shit but we in this bitch, homie now what?
You wanted beef with us
You really are so dumb,
So, Finish your drink
I'm gona grill you til your done
Being broke aint really any fun
But we gon blow
How you know?
Man I can feel it in my plums
That is the plan ho, Well be stacking bills
Don't mess with the man though, cause you don't have these skills
For our music, our fans so excited,
Jessica Spano on Caffeine pills

Now tell me that you love it
You know you at the top when only heabe right above it
We on, its Stick Up Kids Motherfucker
If you aint running with it, run from it motherfucker
You know I'm sick my nose is runny in this bitch
Green sweater vest looking like Doug Funnie in this bitch, you dig
Rapping like this is not hard
Especially because we've got bars
Track Name: My Time
[Verse 1]
My kind of loving drive em to insanity
They lying if they say they slightly a fan of me
It aint a child its a man you need
Cause a man like me will help act out your wild Fantasies
And boo I'm your drama coach
She first class but her handbags stay in Coach
And her friends so petty, its like they stay in coats
And Jay got jokes,
Approach her patient
That dress is very becoming, boo
But of course if I was on you I'd be coming too
And that flirtatious, first statement
Got her making and sending signals
That says she's mine for taking
From the start
Leave her aching
And I aint talking bout the heart
Good grrrracious
I got this woman
Yelling my name like she a lifeguard and I'm a kid running.
You want me to slow down?
Oh wow...
If she didn't see it prior
She know now
I affect her in all sorts of ways
She just want more of Jay
Call me Morris Day... got her on My Time

[Verse 2]
She's got a face like a model, frame like a bottle
Tastes like Moscato
She tries to stay aways but then caves like a grotto
Cause I'm irresistible
She swears that what we got is just sexual
Then claims she cant fit me in her schedule
But she ends up being like her muscles... Flexible
No need for a diamond to cutter, DDP
She tells them other dudes step aside
That are bugging her, Pesticide, DDT
Dynamite, TNT
No drama Like my place is Southland
She more than fine? Um yes
But she borderline obsessed, laces out Dan
She stuck to me, its like Jays without Pam
And just wants my junk, no days without spam
Yeah, bring back those power chords
Losing track a time, unplugging all the power cords
Started on the back porch, then ended up on the shower floor
We stop for a snack then back at it for an hour more
Now the Round is 3, I ask for Mercy,
Then she hits me with an Animality
The sex great, Checkmate
Even though Jay aint fail
I'm still taking L's... Cause I got her Knights
Track Name: Rolling in the Deep
First you fall in love with her Swag and all that
Then you pay for mani pedis, her
Bags and all that
It's like eating Lays with Danny Tamberelli
She thinks she's a chip filled bag and all that
Yeah... her shit don't stink
But she's the first one to jump if ship should sink
She's one lucky girl is what that bitch should think
But she's too busy finding a different dick to drink
I JK... Rowling
Cause I'm on a late night quest for love, fallon
When we fight, we should sell tix... Allen
She look good like milk in any outfit that gal in
Thinkin I had hoes on my di-ick
But I didn't
I hate it that you were
Listening to that fake shit that you heard
Your decision Like Lil B... based on the rumors
But I'm out my cotton-picking mind
If I want to get back with her I gotta get in line
So Ill play like I don't think your hot or even fine
And hate you... Until I get my shot another time
Track Name: Fancy
Love the pumps, boo them slingbacks is fire
Scoopneck, pleated skirt, when she in that black attire
She so fine, she can make even a mac retire
That girl Fancy, she my Reba McEntire
But I bet you saw that one coming
Out of all your friends, with me, you the only one coming
Show up at my house like "I'm the only one?" Come in
Hours later you the only one coming
Sorry for being sorta crass
But I figure you needed assistance with all that... Class
Babygirl like an admissions office
Got other women livid, pigeons pissed and bitchin often
Now Them hoes hating?
They are so basic
Its more than make-up and having all your toes painted
Cause its nothing for her to make the baddest bitch here look "cornier" with No lasik
Track Name: Sunlight
[Verse 1]
Schools out!!!
Spring Break
Jumping on the beds til the springs break
I'm a fill my weekdays, with drinks, haze, beach, waves, T's, A's, heat wave
Staying at home is for losers
Pack the car and Load up the coolers
Once we on the road we the rulers
But first we need a playlist, Hit up mostly junk food
Two weeks of sun and mostly junk food
And Girls, partying, sex
Oh yeah, we getting Drunk too
Find some pretty biddies to come through
Preferably, skinny big tittied, and dumb too
Told my pa-rents I couldn't pay rent so they sent me some funds oooo
Forget them Summer girls... LFO
Looking a bi-chick, Like F Hello,
She said she likes the way I F L OW
Girl I just want to Rida FLo
Ain't None of these girls hot as you
And I can think of some things that you oughta do
Once we leave town my feelings wont follow you

[Verse 2]
What's better than Sunlight bathin
On the beach with Some libations
Our relationship like a road trip through Ohio
One night Dayton
Yeah, some like hating
But its impossible to do when the surf and the sand fine
Take your top off, I'm not a perv its just I'm allergic to tan lines
Ay girl your man like I aint heard of him that's a damn lie
I got that bauce sauce like Laura's dork
Spent all my money on beer, I can't afford spork
We getting buck in here like Florida sports
And she want me in her guts Like Moira Quirk
Track Name: E.T.
[Verse 1]
Let's cut to the chase, are you down to or not?
Girl stop playing, we both know you are hot
Let's get outta here, after Two more shots
Get her open, she'll glowing Mister Burns booster shot
You say I'm something you never seen before
Where we going, what we doing,
You don't need them drawers
So take off that LV, C Dior
This experience is out of body... But I wanna be in yours
Baxter Stockman a Fly guy from
Dimension x
She was ready to go, and I aint have to mention sex
Apprehensive? Yes
But I have a pension to make that tension less
You can call me Alf, the answer to Do you eat the cat is yes

[Verse 2]
I'm not just some, Body snatcher
But I'm a need to beat em to it,
And take her before somebody snatch her
If you don't like it rough when we're up in sheets,
Then we can sex slow, and show you how I come in peace
I'm a star, Extra celestial
No need to phone home, you with an extra terrestrial
Hot, smart and got money?
You the trifecta like an extra t-testicle
And I aint gone marry ya when I'm done
So let's just keep this a secret like Area 51
Track Name: Where Are You?
Whatever the endeavour
We could have been together
But I hope you see now that it'll never
Happen, you still stuck in the past and
Yet you tell your friends, "Girl I'm so past him"
We both know that ain't true
You would always nag and hassle me too
Saying I didn't have that same passion for you
Passive agressive, asking a q like, feasibly,
How are you feeding me? Paying this CC fees, With your free cd's
You just needed to believe in me
You could've even lied and say you did
The one that got away... Jay Is it
My music, you hated it, now it's time for you to be facing it
I hope this taught you whata virtue patience is
Cause you got nobody but you blame for it
Have I been clear? I hope you hear this
You could've been here, we could've shared this
And trust that where ever youre not
While on my grind
To be honest, that thought never crossed my mind
And I bet you think that all the time
Now that I'm gone I'm the only thing on your mind
Track Name: All Of The Lights
Been to 3rd base, we going all the way this time, time
You aint a seasoned vet just cause you got all this thyme, thyme
Boring jay like Morris day, taking up all his time, time
Man of the year, I should be all up in Time, Time
It's either Maker's 46 or Yuengling
These dudes are all characters, wing dings
They call me Corny, and a lot of other mean things
Sorry, but that's not my name word to the Ting Tings
He lame and he don't see
That blaming me won't be
The one excuse that makes up for his
Lazy approach, b
Looking down on yall, Jay in the nosebleeds
Cause I need a crib on them Malibu Sands...Staci Carosi
They, listen to the things that we write
With Chrome opened up to that Wikipedia site
We shining, left em in the dark, these weaklings arent bright
So sick, know what's up, Been throwing up. I need all the Pedialyte,
Xenon, Halogen, compact fluroescent
Highlights, Twilights
From a New Moon to a waxing crescent
To a waning one, Jay aint done
Rob rap's incessant-
Ly Since an adolescent,
They've seen that I'm Incandescent

[Verse 2]
Blowing up, go up in flames with glory
We some Apollo G's but we aint saying sorry
Do me a favor, download this, and play it for me
Rob's voice get yo mom moist make your auntie's panties horny
Bring in that morse code
Like what you working with they will steal yo source code
Watching you perform I was bored yo
All you do is wine, bordeaux
And All I do just push their buttons... Eddie Gordo
Track Name: Before I'm Gone ft. Eye-Am-Bic
[J Rob's Verses]
And when I'm six feet under in that sediment
Just know everything I said I meant
Its evident easy to be pessimist
But out of every situation you gotta make the best of it
And Full, make sure your glass half
Even when you know its worse
If you don't get the joke at first,
That just means you'll have the last laugh
Women know you worth
There's way more to ya than having a fat ass
If Them dogs come barking, put em in a kennel boo
I see too many grown men in the kiddie pool
And to all the kids getting ridiculed
Seeking comfort in those first person shooter reticules
Know that those things that get
you bullied in middle school
Are the very same things that in college make you really cool
True friends are a rarity
For every one that would take they last dollar to share with me
There's a million more that
Would get close just to embarass me
Be all smiles and then
When I turn my back disparage me
Bare with me, clarity, Rhyming is my therapy,
And I'm not as great as I'd care to be
And its fine if I never get rich from recording songs
As long as you know my name before I am gone

[Verse 2]
Every breakthrough became true
When the world said you can't do that
Then someone did
I used to hate on trust fund kids
But that must have been
Because I wasnt one of them
So I grind to make sure that mine is
Account in the minus
Swipe the card, then hope they dont decline this
Losing "my cool" like I am Vick
And I am sick and tired of
These liars, who claim they got the fire
Knowing damn well that I am BIC
So park that shit up on memory lane
J Rob and Eye am Bic
Remember the names
Track Name: Smallville
Ever since I got a mic like Saved by the bell the college years
They haven't believed in what I'm trying to accomplish here
Blood, sweat, and a lot of beers
And when that hard work pay offs they know I'm out of here
To Escape the stigmas from my background
Oh our class clown, rap now?
That preppy kid that wore them polo threads,
We all thought was homo sex
Be getting spins Like a Rolodex
Hold on... Yesp
J to the R,
They love what I say in these bars
Just a lad in the game but, I'm playing Jafar
Getting better every day, I can't wait for tomorrow
So please Don't get in this errant dude's way
Or else, I'll Ram ya, like I stare at Goulet
I ball like an heiress whose name is paris,
you lames
Sing the same old tunes, Where is Buble
I don't need a parachute,
They want to poach me
I'm flyer than Cody on the back of marahute
Track Name: Simba (Remix)
Young Simba
I can't wait to be king
But one slip up
You lose everything
And You won't get far
By complaining its hard,
To be the king. you gotta go through the Scars
You can do what you wanna
For that Hakuna Matata
I'm do whats needed
For a better view for tomorra
I want it now
Choosin my fate, Refusin to wait
Sit back and pow wow about
What music to make
If they want that
I don't want to think just wanna dance
Do we blindly give em that shit that will put em in a trance
The lyrics they don't hear it
They just wanna feel the beat
Kill em in they sleep
Make a bullshit song they feelin in they feet
And them simply repeat
No use reinventin the wheel
Getting lost in the music is fine
But would it kill em to deal
Face they problems?
Talk it out instead walkin out or walkin it out

So apathetic
Rather wish on a star then work hard
That's a tad pathetic
To fix Society's ills
You don't have to ask a medic
If since high school
We haven't crossed paths forget it
I don't like you,
No you can't get it for free you can buy our shit on iTunes
They want my gift,
I'm feelin like poppa santa
If I'm making your anxiety, violently, rise then please pop a xanax
The Bass line, the synth, its all propaganda
Bauce Sauce bitch I got more juice than tropicana
If you not a fan of,
JR, They are
They just don't know it yet
Your flow gets no respect
This is my court and I'm holdin it
So up yours its
Chuck norris with a nunchuk soaring
At yo fucking clitoris
So you better duck or its
Force, hit, Rig-uh-mortis
Of course its
Jay, Mr. Big you're just Boris
Killin em like 911, I'm on my porsche shit
Bet I Run laps around these losers, I'm on my horse shit
So fly, I'm on my horse shit
Yell it until my voice quits, on my hoarse shit
These beats are the root of me, I'm on my borscht shit
Put it down with flair with ease
When I fry kids, make em grimace,
Call me mayor cheese
So get off facebook, put your face in a book
There's really no difference in each race if you look
And maybe what I place in the hook
Will inspire change in the crooks
Or maybe bring faith to the shook
Well I highly doubt it
And this rap shit is highly crowded
But I feel like my talent should be I'm highly touted
And you can be the best, but only if I allow it
Cause I can be the greatest ever, but only if I allow it
Track Name: Rap is Wrestling
Rap is Wrestling
Can you dig it?
Because YOu won't make it without a gimmick
The fans are fucking with you
But The man can't do nothing with you
Unless you have a gimmick
Talent means nothing, So you better have a gimmick
You Better have a gimmick, You Better have a gimmick
Because YOu won't make it without a gimmick
The right character can make all the difference

You let that fo fo heat flair
And move them birds like KoKo B. Ware?
Trying to be Papa Shango using mirrors and
Do we believe ya?
You Whacksauce, past fake
Cause in reality you a Hacksaw catchprase
USA, I'm talking to u, ese
So what you wanna do do ese?
I'm ready for la guerra yo, leave em soggy
When bullets Splash any Eddie Guerrerros feeling froggy,
Instead of displaying a sicker flow
They talk about how they'll put the flame to ya head Bigelow
Ain't buying what you sell-in, with that sickle flow
How many of your 15 minutes of fame left?
I figure four
With those freestyle skills, you ought to stop
Heel Ric Flair, You never hitting off the top
Thinking Rob is not
Fresh? There must be hash in your hookah
There are fewer guys this superfly, snooka
Get it straight, I innovate,
I'm Mike Quackenbush with raps and hooks
Faggot look, I don't care what you rookie's cooking
I spaz like Taz, and not the one from red hook in brooklyn
I'm the opposite of pussy footing
I got your girl sitting on my face like Doink's Whoopie Cushion
And just cause Rob's Official
She blows me more than Bill Alfonzo's whistle
She told me that you have a musty chode
So it ain't take much Turn Yo Baby Doll Out, Dusty Rhodes
When we're done she wants some mo a me
Peter Maivia
I'm the shit, see the diarrhea?
But I digress,
The fans call for change
Cause These Rappers are Mick Foley, Mankind, Dude Love, all the same
They hear me and say whose that j guy
Whoever said I'm a New Jack, they lied
My crew will stomp you out,
30 feet homie, like a New Jack Stage Dive
ON the Mic, I'm Dwayne Johnson, See
I train constantly, Take caution,
Get off my bronson, b
They commonly, say jay's comedy
Until they get a Running Lygerbomb from the Top of the
To make it man,
You gotta either put in work for years, gain crazy fans
Or be born Diggy Simmons, shane McMahon
J Rob is shameless and White like that Sheamus man
So I'm fessing up
I'm middle class, went to college
Been arrested once,
1360 SAT, tested once
They tell their friends "You need to CM," I'm GTS-ing punks
And I'd rather read a book
With my skills, I'm like a toddler on a swingset
I just a need a push
So from the looks of it, If I ever want to feel that glory
I better change my backstory

Rap is Wrestling
Can you dig it?
Because YOu won't make it without a gimmick
The fans are fucking with you
But The man can't do nothing with you
Unless you have a gimmick
Talent means nothing, So you better have a gimmick
You Better have a gimmick, You Better have a gimmick
Because YOu won't make it without a gimmick
The right character can make all the difference
Track Name: Ham and Swag
I'm that mother fucker call the hamba lamps
Cause when I go ham beats doesn't stand a chance
That's fact no back and forth like the hammer dance
I know pill heads that bag E more than hammer pants
Been doing this since geocities and the hamster dance
Take these whack weed rappers to Hamsterdam
I nail they girl, they want to hammer Robby
Until they see I lay the law down, Hammerabi
Chilling in CT, catch me in hamden
With godAWFUL, looking so awfully hamsome
Stick Up Kids, we're back
Call me Andy Hamberg, and your
More Like the Hamburglar
Steal my 16's,
Then I'll issue a Hamber Alert
These Hamateurs wonder what this brohams thinking
Cause I lose my mind in the booth Abraham Lincoln
I just went ham, No Bacos
Take note My punches aint for an Ig No ramos
Trying to holler at Bob Swaggit, No Stamos
Hot bars, Conswagration, So fuego
You'll stay underground with that fraggle swag
While I'm chillin at the top of the swaggro crag
I'm full of myself, your chick is full of R
In AlHambama, Dancing, swagging on boulevard
Pull my card like Tarot, I'm a Swaggitarius
Nick Swardson, Your a fag like Terry is
Oh the swagony, College, I graduated
Don't feel bad for me, there the ones swaggravated
Trying to understand these simpletons, Swageline Albright
Cause what they doing, aint at all right
I shit aviators, wayfarers glasses of all types
My dick in chick, that's what's happening all night

For the broads of these heroes, bad news
I stay with a tricky dick call me, Spiro Swagnew
I got that Bauce Sauce, you got ragu
So sick Swag-choo
My swag is so crispy
While You have to beg for attention, tittytuesday, Your swag is so plixi
Say Whose better? I'll turn them faggots to mincemeat
Oh look, and then there were none, Swagitha Christie
Its the Legend of Swagger Vance
Punches hit like an avalanche
Gallavant with Jimmy Fallons aunt
Jrob, just rap over beats. That's an acrostic
pray to the Basedgod cause I'm swagnostic
He fill up a magnum? He lied
Cause its really a dodge magnum he drive
This blonde fella, tom selleck, Swagnum PI
Secretary of Swagriculture, Have me over
Put my swag up in your mom
Track Name: Dreamer ft. Other Wise
This for those that dream of packed out stadiums and crowds
Performing to leave em all amazed and just wowd
For those whoever got complaints that there playing was too loud
This is for everyone who keeps their Craniums in clouds

Who believe their potential has yet to be seen
And that who they are now is not who they're destined to be
They act like I'm supposed to make it so effortlessly
The're suggestions to me
Are so evidently
Rooted deep in the fact that they gave up theirs
But Jay don't care
So I look up to the stars
Until my name up there
Tell em you did what they tried but their too ashamed to care
The try to pull you back to earth
Hate on you, attack your worth
Prey on you catholic church
I give my all for it
So if you think I'll fall short?
Now YOU're dreaming
Track Name: Freaks and Geeks
[Verse 1]
People wonder why the world don't know my fucking name, see
It Aint because I'm fucking lazy
It's cause I got a house, a wife, shitty job
Enough problems to drive a sane man fucking crazy
So What's impressing me? Nothing lately
I'm Lupe, busta Jay-Z
Mixed with XV, Usher, Shady, Chuck D, AZ
Your Gutta Gutta, Lil Chuckie, Baby
What comes with an iPod I'm a pair of fucking Dr. Beats
Let your fans hear you then fucking play me
Ask Whose Better and I bet they fucking say me,
I'm from the burbs, Notorious for BIG houses
But that don't mean my life is all fucking Gravy
Try to copy us, 10-4
I'll leave all you men numb, ten foil
Round the country where me and my men go
So tell my mom how well I'm doing
Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo
I kick it like Kenpo
Keep up with my tempo
Bout to get it popping
Like prom night and pimples
Lunch break sex, nicknamed her box, bento
Other bitches try to emulator, nintendo
Baby girl must a went to Morehead
She showed me her brains Like Lord Zedd
While you were at work, right there on your dorm bed
She blew me like hot soup, had me looking for the cornbread
I'm sorry, it feels bad to diss you
She Talked bout how bad she miss you
Then got drunk, and had me help her with her daddy issues
Left her with a smile and some cum splattered tissues
That is G-Ross
And fuck if I aint putting out the most witty prose
If I were most rappers I'd use a played line about bullshit and connect it wth D Rose
Damn... hashtag meta
And since I rap that betta
When I hit the stage after you, they just clap and woo, then the crowd yells At Last Etta
My references obscure so they say I'm kinda hipster-ish,
Well hipsters make you popular, So Ill be on that hipster-ish
If your featured artist drop the ball like a fumblr
I can get you a verse in a gif like tumblr

[Verse 2]
I reference Nickelodeon so they say I'm a fucking dork
But they don't know I'm versatile, like a fucking spork
End of discussion What retort?
Give em the blues, so they copy me what a bunch of Snorks
These funny clowns starting up
They want me Dumb it down, how bout you smarten up?
I Found a niche that I'm carvin up
If you haven't found yours, you aint working hard enough
Fuck that Using qualifiers shit
If rap we're the World Cup
You wouldn't qualify for shit
Verbally, on wax, I'm like herbal t and wax when I'm murdering these tracks
Son em with my simple rhymes, I nursery these cats
They preferrin me and thats, because my absurdity is perfectly in tact
Fuck their cursory-filled hurriedly spit raps
So fluid, the way I put letters together, its cursive when I rap
Im Fly, check the mixtape theme
I've been doing this since a teen
Show up, they say no he didn't, but oh boy he did
My seer sucker collection look like Roy G Biv
Its easy to make yo chicken strip like Sanders
Cause females love us
And I aint just talking bout the dumb skinny, wild chicks, that like to be pampered
Hell, Even nerdy girls that are smart, bilt and calm adore us, like Vander
Too nice, Flanders
I'm the truth, you can never say my speech slander,
I'm a beast, cancer,
Am I the best motherfucker doing this?
I'll let the beat answer